Are you really?
by rocknlove
Summary: When the Doctor leaves Rose on the bay after Journey's end with his doppelganger, he believes Rose has accepted that the time lord/human is the Doctor, but maybe she didn't... Rated T for planned later content ie. swearing
1. Chapter 1

"And you, Doctor?" She said, turning to the man clad in blue, "How's that sentence gonna end?"

The Doctor leaned close to her, and whispered almost inaudibly, "I love you."

Rose stared at the Doctor in the blue suit for a moment. He looked so much like THE Doctor, her Doctor. Suddenly, she pulled on his lapels and pressed her lips to his. To her surprise he responded immediately, his lips moved against hers as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. For that one moment, everything was gone from Rose's mind.

Only when the TARDIS started dematerializing did she come back to her senses. She pulled away from the... man she had been kissing and ran towards where the TARDIS was, but it was gone before she could get more than a few steps away from the man who was supposedly the Doctor.

Tears started down Rose's cheeks, silently she went to wipe them away, but the Doctor grabbed her hand firmly.

"I really am him, you know." He told her, without shifting his gaze from the indentation in the sand where the TARDIS had been mere moments ago.

"I'm not sure I believe that." She said, her gaze still locked on the spot where her Doctor had left her, again.

The Doctor beside her dropped her hand. He was now staring at her intently, "Please, my beautiful, clever, wonderful Rose. Please, give me a chance to prove it to you."

Rose tore her gaze away from the indentation in the sand, and inspected the man's face. She was trying to find something different about his face. Some little tell tale sign that meant he was not her Doctor, but he was a perfect duplicate.

"One chance." She whispered.

He beamed at her, but all she could muster was a weak little smile.

"Come on." The Doctor told her, and he held his left hand out.

She just stared down at it unsure, but when he wiggled his fingers it reminded her of right after his regeneration when he had told her where they were going next. She grabbed his hand, and followed her mother's footprints away from the ocean towards the shore.

With the hand that wasn't clasped in Rose's her quickly checked his pockets. He felt the small lump of the thing in his right pant pocket. He sighed, relieved from the assurance the little object brought.


	2. Chapter 2

After the long ride on the Zepplin the Doctor was exhausted, which was an entirely new feeling for him. Time lords hardly ever got tired, let alone exhausted.

"So, what should I be calling you?" Rose asked him as they took a cab ride to her private flat in London.

"Well, I would prefer 'the Doctor' but you can call me John if you like." He said.

"John?" She asked, her tougne appearing out of the corner of her mouth.

"Yes?" He replied.

"John for now then." She said with a little smile.

"We're here, miss." The cabbie told them.

"Right thanks." She replied as she tore her gaze away from John. She silently cursed herself for momentarily thinking of John the way she thought of the Doctor. 'He's not, the Doctor' She told herself firmly as she paid the cab driver. Some little, rebelious voice asked her, 'Yeah, but could he be you're Doctor?'

"Shall we then?" She asked John aloud once the cabbie had turned the corner and disappeared from view.

"Of course." He smiled warmly at her.

She dug her keys out of her pocket, and pushed the door open.

She climbed the two flights of stairs to the penthouse. The door of her flat was a deep blue.

"Did you paint it to match the TARDIS?"

Rose blushed, "Yeah." She silently cursed herself again for blushing.

John did catch the blush, but decided not to say anything. He decided instead to ask Rose, who was trying to get the door open, "Do you need help?"

"No, this lock is sticky and I absolutely hate it."

"Here." John said, as he stepped forward.

Rose stepped back, she couldn't see over John's shoulder, but she heard the unmistakable sound of him sonicing the door open.

"How did you get one of those?" She asked him as he pushed open the door truimphantly with a 'HA!'

"The TARDIS gave it to me." He told her before stepping out of the way so she could lead the way.

Rose's flat wasn't huge but it was pretty big for downtown London. There were three bedrooms, the smallest of which she had converted into a living room. A large plush leather couch faced a large television. The other two rooms were larger with a queen sized bed in each. The two bedrooms were identical except in one of them the bed was unmade and clothing was strewn over the floor. There was another door of the hall that most likely lead to the bathroom. What was supposed to be the living room was a dining room. The kitchen was huge and filled with stainless steel appliances that looked as if they had never been used.

"It's nice." John said after Rose gave him the grand tour.

"Yeah, but it's not bigger on the inside." She joked.

John laughed lightly, before stifling a yawn.

"You should go to bed. We can go shopping after." She told him, "This'll be your room." She finished. gesturing to the cleaner of the two bedrooms.

"Thanks." He said before she stepped into her own room and closing the door behind her.

With a sigh he closed the his own bedroom door, colapsed on his bed and was asleep within seconds.


	3. Chapter 3

When John came to, the late morning light was streaming through the open window. He heard Rose doing something noisily somewhere in the flat. He stood slowly, when he glanced at his reflection in the mirror his hair lost some of it's puff and his suit was slightly wrinkled.

He ran his fingers through his hair to fix it slightly and smoothed his suit so he looked slightly presentable. It was weird that he was worrying about something so trivial, but the Doctor always looked perfect, even without trying. So to be seen as the Doctor by Rose, he had to be perfect as well. He had gotten most of the wrinkles out of his suit and his hair was perfectly ruffled.  
He found Rose in the kitchen. Making something that smelt horrible. His single, human heart started to beat faster at the sight of her in fitted yoga pants and a tight shirt.

She heard a rustle behind and whipped around quickly. It was the Doctor. Although he was a little rustled from sleep, her heart still did a little flutter in her chest, 'no,' She mentally corrected herself, 'this isn't the Doctor. This is John.'

"Whatcha cookin?" He asked earnestly as he moved closer to her so that he could peer into the frying pan.

Rose caught a whiff of John, and to her surprise he smelt exactly like the Doctor. "Pancakes." She told him when she figured out how to speak again.

"Hmm." He said, still staring down at the pan.

"I can't cook to save my life, so do you wanna just grab some fish n' chips before we go shopping?" She asked as she stared ruefully at the burnt pile of pancakes she had made.

"Sure." He replied, smiling at the thought of fish n' chips.

"Just give me a sec." She told him before dashing into her room to grab her purse and cellphone.

John smiled after her. He turned the stove off, and expertly flipped the pancake out of the frying pan on to the awaiting plate.

When he heard Rose say, "Shit! Shit! Shit!" He decided he should check up on her.

"You ok?" He asked from the doorway of her room. She was standing over her side table, rummaging around.

"I can't find my phone." She said, without turning.

"Can I help?" He asked, stepping across the threshold of her room.

"Uh. Sure." She replied.

He smiled and bent down to look under her dresser. The shiny plastic of her phone glinted there. "HA!" He said as he grabbed it and pulled it out."

"Thanks doc... John." She corrected herself as she grabbed it from his hand, her fingers brushing lightly against hers as she did so. A slight shock was sent through her hand. It wasn't painful, but it was strikingly familiar.

He smiled at her, having felt the same shock running through his hand.

Rose cleared her throat, "Let's go."

"Allons-y." He said, as, out of habit, he held out his hand for her. She didn't take. He smiled at her sadly. He mentally vowed that he would wait for her, forever. Even though forever wasn't his to give anymore.

They picked up the food from Rose's favourite fish n' chips place. John scarfed down the food gratefully.

When they had both finished, Rose said, "Come on, we gotta find something other clothes for you."

"What's wrong with this suit?" John demanded.

"You can't wear the same suit all the time!" Rose said, as he tongue appeared at the corner of her mouth.

In that moment, John wanted to kiss her so badly, but she wasn't ready, so he did the one thing time lords do best; he bottled up his feelings and said for the second time that day, "Allons-y."

This time Rose is the one who offered her hand. John gladly took it. He smiled. Maybe waiting for Rose wouldn't take forever.


	4. Chapter 4

They bought John 5 new suits; one plain black, one black with pinstripes, a blue one with slight pinstripes, another plain blue one and finally they bought him one that was dark brown.

Although Rose wanted him to buy some jeans, John refused. He did buy a couple t-shirts though. He also bought a couple real shirts along with a trench coat that was almost identical to the one his doppelgänger wore.

Finally, Rose treated John to two pairs of converses. One white and the other red; both high-top.

"That all?" John asked Rose after they left the store with his new shoes safely tucked away in a bright red shopping bag.

"Yeah. That should be good to start with." She said nodding.

They meandered back in the general direction of Rose's flat. Every once and awhile Rose would spot something in a store she wanted to look at, and she would drag John after her.

When they finally got back to her flat, John was tired, but in a good way, he decided as he hung his new clothes in the closet in his bedroom.

"Hey, Doc.. John." Rose said, appearing at the doorway, "You wanna watch a movie."

He smiled at her slip-up, and replied, "Sure. Just let me finish this. You go and start whatever movie you like."

"Sure." She smiled at him, before disappearing.

John finished quickly. Throwing the last t-shirt into a drawer, he found his way to the living room. His heart throbbed painfully in his chest when he saw Rose sitting with her legs crossed on the couch. A bowl of popcorn sat beside her, and she was staring at the copyright warning that were flashing across the screen.

She turned and smiled at him, "It's going to be awfully uncomfortable to watch from there." She said, her tongue appearing at the corner of her mouth momentarily.

John felt himself moving towards Rose, his beautiful, tempting Rose. He sat down on the complete opposite side of the couch, "What are we watching?" He asked.

"The 7th Potter movie." She replied, happily.

John reached for a handful of popcorn before answering, "One of the best." He nodded approvingly.

"Yeah."

They watched the movie in silence.

Only when the credits started to roll did Rose say anything, "You really are him, aren't you?" She asked in a whisper.

To John's surprise, when he looked over a Rose, she was crying. He scooted closer to her, and put an arm around her gently before answering, "Yes."

"But, you're different as well. He couldn't say it... He didn't love me." She sobbed.

"That's where you're wrong. He loved you very much, but he wouldn't have been able to leave if he spoke his feelings about you. He knew that he couldn't leave me on my own. He also knew that if he said he loved you, that you would never have accepted me."

"But..."

"It's alright. You can mourn him, but that shouldn't stop you from loving me." He said, reading her mind.

She smiled up at him, "You aren't the Doctor, but you are my Doctor." She said, finally giving in to the ever-growing part of her brain, telling her that this man was her Doctor.

They sat like that, with Rose silently curled up in her Doctor's arms, for a long time. When John made to untangle himself from Rose, she protested, "Where to you think you're going?"

"I was... It's late." He pointed out.

"So?" She asked, her tone softening.

"We should get to bed." He said.

"What am I? Twelve." Rose teased, but she stood anyway.

They padded lightly down the hall to their rooms.

"Goodnight, Rose. My sweet, wonderful Rose." John said, as Rose stood against her bedroom door.

"Doctor?" She said.

"Yes?" He liked her calling him 'Doctor', more than anything else in the world.

Instead of answering, she threw herself against him. He wobbled slightly, but regained his balance quickly. She pressed her lips to his. All the bottled up passion and desire suddenly flood John's senses as he wrapped his arms around her, drawing her closer to him. She kissed him passionately, her fingers playing through his fantastic chesnut hair. He forgot his vow to wait for her as he moved to deepen the kiss. Partly her lips with his, his tongue darted into her mouth. She shuddered as his tongue explored her mouth. She met his tongue with her own.

Rose suddenly pulled away, but she did not leave the circle of her Doctor's arms, "Doctor." She said staring up at him.

"Rose." He replied, slightly confused (but he would never admit that).

She twisted out of his arms in one fluid motion, but she grabbed his hand before opening her bedroom door. she pulled him inside silently. Rose clicked the door shut and turned to face her Doctor, "You said we should get to bed." She told him, after taking in his confused face.

"But... I didn't mean... BED." He said emphazising the last word.

"Neither did I," She stated, "Just sleep."

"Ummm, ok, but can I get my pajamas?" He asked.

She just smiled at him, "Of course."

By the time John returned in a too big t-shirt and pajama pants, Rose was in a similar emsemble. Her pants and top clashed horribly, but neither she nor John minded.

"Come on then." She insisted with fake irritablility.

He climbed in one side of the bed as she climbed in the other. They settled in the middle with Rose's head resting against John's chest. He suddenly decided that there were a couple things he liked more than Rose calling him 'Doctor' like her kisses, and the way her even breathing felt as he lay staring at the ceiling.

If his entire life was like this; well he was looking forward to tomorrow.


End file.
